The Negotiator's Zone

By: Grande Lum

PART ONE: WHAT YOU CAN DO BEFORE THE NEGOTIATION BEGINS

In sports, it is called being in the “zone” or playing “out of your mind.”  Athletes who are in the zone often speak of not thinking about what they are doing. They describe a state of relaxation and focus, as if the performance is not forced but is coming spontaneously from deep within. There is a congruence or a connection between body, mind and spirit. That ability to perform at the very highest possible level is possible in negotiation as well. Like athletes in the zone, good negotiators do not seem to get thrown off by obstacles, be they difficult issues or tactics or people.  What can negotiators learn from sports?  In the first part of this article, we take a look at what negotiators can do before the discussions even begin.

Effective Preparation: Walk It Through.  Before every race, Edwin Moses, perhaps the greatest hurdler ever, would visualize the entire race, the exact number of steps in between each hurdle.  You could watch Moses's face and see him conquer each hurdle in turn before the race started.  In negotiation or a conflict situation, this type of preparation is just as important for success. 

Visualize the Negotiation. You can perform better in your interactions if you try to visualize what will happen at key points. The opening of the negotiation is particularly important, since being able to initiate a comfortable conversation for yourself and others is key to your success. Anticipate potential pitfalls, and strategize what you might do if certain scenarios arise. This is where talking it through with someone you trust and respect can help a great deal.  Visualize where you want to be at the end of the interaction as well. Having a clear goal for the end creates momentum for going forward.  The purpose is not to create a script, but to use your practice to prepare yourself for tough spots in the actual conversation. As in athletics, encountering potential difficulties in practice allows you to spontaneously and constructively respond during the real event.

Focus on Yourself. Ultimately, you have no control over what anyone else does, so focus on what you can control – yourself. Visualize yourself during the negotiation. Imagine a video camera that's directed solely at you, not the other parties. What do you see? Perhaps you envision yourself skillfully asking a number of questions. Perhaps you see yourself slowing down your speaking pace. Keep in mind that when asked how they decide to behave in a negotiation, the vast majority of people say, “I wait to see what the other person does.” Your own behavior is often the most influential factor in a negotiation.

Role-Play.  In our consulting work, we have seen the impact of people using role-plays as part of their preparation for an upcoming difficult negotiation. If you are anxious or nervous about an upcoming negotiation, you can walk it through with a colleague, a friend, a mentor or a significant other. While not quite the real thing, role-playing can provide “real” dynamics and may help you to see issues that you hadn't seen before, or practice things you might say or do. For many people, it leads to decreased stress and anxiety, and increased competence and confidence.

PART TWO:  WHAT YOU CAN DO DURING THE NEGOTIATION

Enjoy the Interaction.  Athletes in the zone seem to truly enjoy what they are doing. There is no place they would rather be. The best negotiators enjoy negotiations just as much. As in sports, you “perform” less well in negotiation when you do not want to be there and when it's a chore -- which is too often how we view problem-solving with others. 

Look for the Enjoyment.  Many people fail to enjoy negotiation because they focus on the negatives. There are potential downsides to any endeavor, but we do not have to view negotiation as a glass half-empty. Instead, it's possible to focus on the enjoyable aspects of it, such as building relationships, learning about a new topic, or constructing creative solutions to a tricky problem. You can ask yourself, what moments of a negotiation do I find satisfying? If the word “negotiation” strikes me as something arduous, how can I redefine it for myself as something that I am good at and that I enjoy?

Multiply the Benefits. Changing your mindset can also have a positive effect on the outcome of the negotiation. When you dread negotiation and you set your counterpart up as an adversary, often the encounter is unpleasant and the outcome unsatisfactory. If instead you view negotiation as an opportunity for joint gain, you can create a positive cycle, in which you enjoy it, your counterpart enjoys it, you come up with something that satisfies both of you and you may even look forward to doing it again. 

Trust Your Intuition. Intuition is a good guide – and it is easiest to heed when you are mentally and emotionally prepared to listen to it. One of the difficulties we often observe in negotiation is distraction – too much thinking and turmoil, often characterized by too much talking and not enough listening and pausing.

High performing athletes are focused in the moment.  Because they've done their preparation, top-flight athletes aren't worried about the chaos going on around them. Some block it out of their minds.  Some describe a sense of everything slowing down. As negotiators, if you've done your preparation, reacting “naturally” in the moment, according to your instincts, is the best thing you can do. 

Focus On the Here and Now.  During the negotiation, if you are obsessed with what you will say next or what you said ten minutes ago, you are likely to miss something that's going on right now.  It can become obvious to your counterpart that you are not really paying attention. To listen well, which is absolutely critical to your success, you have to tend to the present.

Let Go of Remembering Everything.  A mistake that novice athletes make is trying to consciously think of each movement, like the ten things to remember as you pull back your golf club and tee off.  We've seen the same phenomenon in important negotiations and meetings. People are so focused on the ten things they want to say, they're not paying attention to what's going on in the room. During our negotiation and conflict management training sessions, we provide this advice: Once you've done your preparation, let it go. It does not need to be committed to memory. Trying to force it will be counterproductive. Instead, trust your preparation and your intuition to guide you through the difficult spots.