Resilience – 7 Ways to Bounce Back When in Stress
By: Heather Meeker Green
I remember watching Winnie the Pooh shows when I was a child and often was able to relate to worried Piglet or anxious Rabbit or glum Eeyore. I reflect on the times recently when I have fallen into the swirl of those energies with the ongoing uncertainty in this challenging period. During times of stress or overwhelm, we have a tendency to succumb to the negative thought patterns, worry and anxiety and let them slow us down. Tapping into a source of resilience when stress is high is a useful skill and may make the difference in getting stuck or bouncing back. When we understand and increase our resilience, we enhance our daily lives, optimize our efforts, and sustain important relationships.
What is resilience? It is a shifted mindset, fueled by flexibility, confidence and optimism.
What is the goal of resilience? To manage your emotional response and get your mental state back on track.
How do you create resilience?
Build attention and awareness to your stressors, and your response to them, as early and often as possible,
Avoid going on auto pilot with habits,
Avoid placing blame,
Stop to acknowledge the concerns,
If on a team, shift from traditional hierarchical, top down decision making, where possible, and instead use the full expertise and input of the team.
What are some resilient behaviors?
Allow emotions to pass through.
a. Do not push emotions aside through distractions. Instead, limit stimuli and feel emotions when they arise. We generally do not sit in emotions for more then a few minutes when we allow them to surface.
b. Do not ruminate and dwell on uncomfortable emotions nor focus on failure. Instead name your emotions to raise self-awareness and to separate feeling from reality.
c. Do not go stoic and push ahead on actions so as not to deal with emotions. Instead notice the current feelings and share vulnerably which will build more trust and connection.
Notice the emotional response you are having and focus on what you want it to be instead. Resist going straight to outer resilient habits that you may have used in the past for a more healthy response.
Keep things light. Authentic levity can help stress relief and bring a sense of belonging, engagement, and team cohesion.
Practice gratitude by thinking of, or better yet, writing down or saying out loud several things you are grateful for in the moment. This allows a shift in your mind and heart from what is causing stress to what you appreciate.
Shift into a more optimistic perspective by flipping the perception you are holding from negative to positive. A simple example is changing from “I have to do this” to “I get to do this” or “I don’t have time to do X” to “I have time to do Y” or “I am failing at A“ to “I’m succeeding at B.”
Revisit goals and values. When things feel tough, something unexpected arises, or tension has been created, return the conversation or remind yourself of the goals and values you hold. What are you or the team trying to do? What is important to you? What does success look like and what impact will you make with it?
Use support network. While our instincts often are to figure things out on our own and be fiercely independent, resilient people turn to their support network (colleagues, family, friends) to vent, feel heard, and talk things out for another perspective. Even if you cannot find another person in the moment, you can use yourself by writing a note as if you were talking to someone else and release the thoughts and feelings.
During these trying times, it is easy to take on stress and anxiety, feel down, or become complacent. To bounce back, try on even just one of these seven behaviors and you’ll be more like confident Tigger, wise Owl, or carefree Winnie the Pooh. How do you elevate your level of resilience for a better today and tomorrow?