6 Steps to Managing Conflict

By: Grande Lum

A critical skill for any person is dealing with conflict in the workplace. Conflict is either there or right around the corner constantly, so being able to deal with it quickly and efficiently can prevent enormous amount of frustration, hostility and paralysis.  Whether one can understand it and use it for positive outcomes will enhance one's chance of success and one's enjoyment of the workplace.  The following is a simple approach to take toward any conflict.

1. Take a Step Back.  Try to understand what's going on. Be as objective as possible. Imagine for a moment that you are an “invisible” observer. In this way you can really analyze what's going on. Being able to make wise, smart choices is dependent upon being able to look at it with as much “level-headedness” as possible.

2. Understand the Other Person's View.  Managing the dispute or disagreement means to be able to empathize with the other person.  No matter how difficult, doing your best to understand where the other person is coming from and showing the person that you are attempting to understand are both important elements.  While you do not have to agree, you also do not need to spend a lot of disagreeing explicitly disagreeing with them either. 

3. Reflect and Assert Your Own Needs.  It is certainly also crucial that you are aware of your own emotions, and your own wishes as well. It doesn't help a situation, if you haven't dealt with your concerns, because you might leave a conflict without feeling good about the resolution. Being able to communicate that in a way the other party can hear it well is key.

4. Find the Light at the End of the Tunnel.  Conflicts are inevitable. They will come out at one time or another.  If people repress the conflicts, it may actual come out in uglier, subtler, indirect ways later.  Really looking to how the conflict can now help is critical in a workplace conflict. By speaking directly on an issue, will it now finally be dealt with? Can an important decision now be made?  Is an apology long overdue?  Whatever the benefits or value happens to be, searching it out will help the process.

5. Share your “stories” with each other.  Provide the space for each person to provide the rationale and reasoning for why the conflict is where it's at.  Each person should try to learn about what they don't know from the other person.  The focus should be on listening to the other person's story and not correcting or blaming.

6. Find a Mutually Agreeable Solution.  If you've done the above steps, then it's time to find a way to resolve the conflict.  Given each person's story and needs try to find a way that each of the parties can walk away feeling that they have been treated fairly.

Each person will find it easier to do some of the steps than other.  Some it will find it harder to assert their own needs while some will find it harder to understand the other's perspective.  Balancing these six steps will help you more skillfully manage conflict and allow you and your organization to not just reduce the impact of conflict, but also to use it to create benefit.